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A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”
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For the second time this year, Jurgen Klopp's Liverpool failed to win at Old Trafford despite looking in total control. But this was a far cry from the total chaos of their FA Cup tie, and needed a disaster from Jarell Quansah to allow Manchester United back into the game.<br/><br/>However, while many may point the fingers at the young centre-back, Liverpool's real problem lay in a decision made prior to kick-off. Adam Clery looks at the game to see if this could be the mistake that costs Liverpool the league...
⏲ 14:15 👁 1.3M
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Take a look at Tom's Guide's video on how the Vision ProiOS-like interface follows your eyes as you look around, and you just tap your fingers to select. This works well in both the Apps and Environments menus.
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This is the shocking moment a football fan blows his fingers off after lighting a flare outside a stadium in the Netherlands. <br/><br/>Footage showed the man waving around the pyrotechnic on the street outside the Philips stadium in Eindhoven before it exploded.<br/><br/>While looking stunned following the loud bang of the misfired flare, he continued as if nothing was wrong.<br/><br/>Only when blood was dripping down from his hand, the fan seemed to realize what had happened.<br/><br/>Another video showed that one of his fingers was missing and the man stared at his mangled hand in disbelief as concerned bystanders gathered around him to help. <br/><br/>The football fan had fired off the flare ahead of the Dutch League final between PSV Eindhoven and Sparta Rotterdam. <br/><br/>He appeared to be a PSV fan as he was wearing a scarf in the team's colors, but he likely missed his team's 4-2 win due to having to seek medical attention.<br/><br/>On Sunday, his team ended a six-year wait to secure their 25th Eredivisie - the Dutch league - title.<br/><br/>Needing a point to make sure after a dominant campaign in which they have lost only once in 32 games, PSV fell behind early but rallied to defeat mid-table Sparta.<br/><br/>'We scored the most goals, conceded the fewest goals and created the most chances. We have shown that we are the best in the Eredivisie, very simple,' player Teze, 24, told Dutch TV station NOS.<br/><br/>'Six years ago I was watching (from the stands) like everyone else. I hoped then that I would one day be able to experience such a moment myself.'<br/><br/>There were rapturous scenes at the final whistle as fans waved cardboard replicas of the Dutch league trophy, but remained in the stands after there had been pre-match fears of a pitch invasion.
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